Having been gone so long I forgot about this wonderful, warm community.
Having been gone so long I wouldnt be surprised if I've been forgotten and no one ever reads this.

But I'd like to say I'm back, bc this place really is so warm, if even once a week.

What I've been up to in these months is multi fold:

- I've been coaching a leadership program at Landmark Education - which ironically has an add here now. That has been having me be UBER busy.
- I've been working my butt off
- Ive been NOT SMOKING, therefore SINGING!
- I've been in a relationship
- I've been moving into a lovely new place all to myself
- I've been recomitting to a life i love!
- I've been out of touch with this here place
- I've been weathering the winter.
- I've been concerned with our planet and reading everything I can about it, and only feeling worse...
- I've also picked up a crappy habbit of being annoyed by people, more so than ever mostly because I think I'm just really tired and burnt out.

All I really want to be doing is writing music and meditating and performing and playing. Not working or designing sites or any of that anymore.

My eyes are precious and I'd like to keep them.

I also no longer want to spend so much time securing my place to live, food, and the like. With the upcoming recession, however, I wonder how possible that really is.

But alas, that's where I've been.

Lots of love to those who may still remember me...
Katya

And so I blogged.
About competition...

A friend sent me a link to a book that I have been reading by Wallace D. Wattles (left) called "The Science of Getting Rich". It is an odd title for this book (written 100 years ago), because he really describes the Law of Attraction. How to CREATE your life. Its not all about money.

[ Notice the embarrasment I experience as soon as its about moolah! So undeserving! ]

Anyhow, one of the tenets is that becoming wealthy does NOT mean your wealth has to be at the expense of another. That once you experience feelings of competition you are dropping back down into the old line of thinking.

You are no longer creating your life, you are competing for it.

Another tenet is that there is enough for everyone. [ Read my bio for some other tenets and a link to download a free copy online. ]

Anyway, starting a business creates all this fear and anxiety - "will I succeed?" "What if so and so has a similar idea?" Blah blah blah. Stuff that stands in the way of succedding in anything. And Wattles says that in moments like that you've gotta focus on gratitude. HAVE GRATITUDE for all that YOU HAVE.

You can not rise out of something until you have outgrown it. And you have not outgrown it, you can not graduate. So BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE NOW, and appreciate all that you have.

So I couldnt sleep because i was laying there thinking about integrity and life and my spiritual practice, and how when I miss a day, I feel at odds with myself. This is sort of new because I didn't used to feel so bad. But lately I do. And its cus I've made a commitment to myself, my life, and my business - this one and all the next ones - to be ALL THAT I CAN BE.

Now when I am NOT, I fall into fear and competitive panic that feeds frenzy. It is no longer for the benefit of ALL. It becomes about ME. And that's when the nets rips and all the LOVE that I have generated escapes... it dissipates because I have grown selfish!

Anyway, thats my midnite thought.  Have gratitude. And keep leaping. Lead for mankind.
Leap for your possibility. Be a stand for each other.

Check out the book. He will get you thinking. And its free - probably because the copyright laws have expired.

Love,
Katya

My grandfather was in love with Germans. Mind you he was a Russian-born (like myself) who fought against the Nazi's durring ZE VAR.

But he was also a dissident with a PhD in Engineering, whose parents were shot by the Russian revolutionaries when he was 15. Yeah, take THAT karma!

He always said: "The Germans do it right the first time." I don't know if that's true anymore, but I have learned to respect their craftsmanship.

This was a man who never really got along with bosses or any "authority" types, much like his beloved grand daughter, nor did he have much respect for anyone in particular. Only the most intelligent and sensible beings.

I'm not saying its the way to live a life, I don't even know how I went down the road of writing this blog, but feels like the past few posts I've written have been very direct, like arrows, and this one, well, it might be more emotional even where its dealing with life's ebbs.

Mediocrity sucks. It has sucked for me, and I have looked it in the face only to say "Kat, get off your a$$, and get going."

I think it will be soon time for me to take a new leap, to new heights, to new levels in career as well as my awareness. I already feel very different, and my world is reflecting it.

In the new year, I am learning patience and more more more patience, and I intend to learn something from each of you even if its how to boil eggs...

Namaste,
Katya

A cute picuture:

So you want a teacher....

If any of you have been to India (and I have not, but get my stories from the many firends who have) you may have a story yourself about being confronted by many people telling you that they are your "Baba."

"I am your Baba!" they yell. "I have been waiting for you. I will teach you truth!"

Most of the time its a hoax, and where they may have minor psychic powers, they are generally looking for a benefactor. Read "Entering the Diamond Way" by Ole Nydhal for a good story on that.

So you want a teacher...

Here are  The Necessary Ingredients:

1. your personal level of awareness
2. your personal karma
3. your view of the world - shaped by the above 2
4. your dedication to snapping out of your nonsense
5. the teacher
   
   

The first 3 dictate the type of person whom you are likely to attract. That is pretty elementary.

Number 4 deals with your actual intentions. What do you REALLY want? And number 5 is, well, the guide.

Lets address #4.

This is almost the most important thing.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
You have to ask yourself that.

 Do you want peace? Or magic powers? Or unsurpassible wisdom? Or just a better life?

What do you want? First answer that.

Because #5, the one you attract will follow your bullshit meter precisely.

If you want some tea-time blah blah blah, then you will get that. If you want a dead sage who can not refute your words, then you will get that. If you want a teacher in the astral, who will be your personal guide, then you will get that. But what do you want?

I noticed with my teacher that what I wanted was a smack. A smack hard enough to get me straight. A smack that was done with ultimate compassion, but a smack nontheless because I did not listen any other way. And guess what - I got that.

I also got a path to wisdom through personal experience, because that's also what I wanted, though the most mezmerizing journeys of body and mind ever imaginable, and an adventure through the worlds of my mind.

Many of my friends got a Buddhist monk, who met with them each week and read whatever they read. Some even went to a monestry, and later debated consort behavior and the law of disattachments with me, only to invite me to speak on the subject. Me! I told him it was not such a good idea. I would make them all take off their robes and laugh at themselves.

But that is me. Crazy wisdom lover. There was no other road for me. I am both - order and chaos. And what I take seriously will be laughed at shortly, only to be taken seriously again.

For many of you, what you want is logic and linearity alone.
Unfortunately that will bring you only more law and order, only more confusion, because in order to break through your walls of stasis you need anything BUT THAT.

How to look

Create the intention.
And he will find you.

You dont ultimately pick your teacher. They pick you. You attract what you need, and the teacher comes.

I sat outside a window reading Castaneda when I was 18, and I wanted that lineage. And I got it - within months. But that was also my development, my karma, and my readiness.

Many of you will be shocked and scared if you see things you are not ready for.

But some of you really really want something INTENSE!!!

So go for it. Wish for it. He'll come...

My organization is hosting the bi-annual GROCC conference Monday & Tuesday Dec 17 & 18 2006.
What does GROCC stand for? Global Roundtable on Climate Change!
I assisted this afternoon in the space these important people will be sitting in - the Exon Mobile's, the General Electric's, the President of Iceland, boys like that... clan boys.

Anyway, as we were gaffing, and getting everything ready for "El Roundtable", I asked one of the writers to put together a bulletted list at the end of the conference of all the things we can DO as people to CHANGE the impeding crisis. We have the data, but do we have solutions?

Everyone paused and looked at me. "Umm, hahahha." was the response.

It seems no one believes anything can really be done. I'm like "We're the EARTH Insitute, for cryin' out loud. We're dealing with the UN, with the African Millenium Villages. Can't we get real and actually offer solutions?"

But the answer seems to be more complicated. Its all tied into peace keeping and money. Seems if someone slits the lie lose, the whole thing will collapse like a house of cards... crazy to think that people really will go to war over water. That's something you thought stayed in Science Fiction novels.

The Bush administration is drilling for water on the moon. Yeah, NASA isn't keeping it secret, and I met the man in charge of the project myself - in an airport smoking bar in Colorado between flights.

He sat and smoked and told me how he is a mining engineer, and that the government is getting a team together to go up there and look for water. That was back in Feb 06, by now there's rock debris intermingled with water flying from the dark side of the moon like a dental tool against a tooth, and we ask ourselves: "How did we get here?"

And there ARE solutions. Most of them are governement policy. Most of them mean the rich have to stop getting richer. Most of them also mean that the majority of this uneducated mass must die in the trailer parks while sipping Juicy Juices and staring at the floating penguins as good BBQ prospects. Most of them require calamity and I'm not depressed!

Isn't that odd? We as a people will be tried and most of us will die. Maybe it will be in 10 years, maybe in 6 like the Mayans predicted. Maybe even the Mayans with land will have nothing to say once the heat dries their only food source.

There doesnt seem to be much of a solution list left. No one wasn't to say it, well maybe Al Gore, and our administration wants to keep us as bloody ignorant as it can - so that it can do its grand escape plan right under our noses.

Im not a conspiracy theorist - this is logic.

We have sacrificed longevity for comfort and boxed juice.

What to say now?  We can go to the conference and listen to the talks and eat sandwiches made from sick animals and close our eyes as others close theirs.

And i will sit there and manage the slide projectors and power point presentations on just how screwed we are.

But I'm not depressed... I think our generation was born ready.
I just hope that we can do as many acts of kindness as we can before its time.

Because if the time doesn't come, we will have been humaine while ordering our coffee from someone who doesn't speak English very well.

As irony would have it, I used to find solace in critiquing the church. The old ways of self-hate, judgement, etc., were all enough reasons to excomunicate the entire process from my life and put a large X across anything "Cristian." I live quite near an original Medival Cloister from the 15th century, brought brick by brick from France. It is part of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, housing a permanant Mideval art collection which is breathtaking. [The fact that it is inside a real castle that stands in the middle of NYC is my favourite part.] Its always been one of my favourite places to visit in the summer when the garden is in bloom, and the medival music plays inside the halls. I bought a CD there once, that I've been listening to for some time, choir medival church music. And then it hit me - not so long ago in fact - that this is higly religious music. I NEVER REALLY thought about it. I just really enjoyed the sound, the vibrations. Why am I listening to it so much...in my headphones, at that ?! Because the vibrations lift me, I feel closer to the Divine... I feel like I'm in prayer when I listen to this music. "How odd," I thought. "These people were practically brutes, and yet this music, their voices." I have seen a lot of conversations on this network about this issue - everyone is pissed at the church, at the Catholics, whatever. But if you look to the roots, before the politics, before the nonsense, you have a real sense of religion in its purest state - man's wish to connect with the Divine - through chant, through voice, through song. I want to post the song I'm listening to right now as I write this...its moving me to tears. Please let me know if you want it, I will send it to you. Its almost 12 minutes long, so it will keep you occupied :) Much love, Katya

I have just noticied these two in the public arena.
I haven't read anything by either except for a talk in WIE that they held in Denver some time ago.

Some things they said were fairly obvious and would be to those with interest in sprituality and development.

Some things were absurd - God needing us to create the next future. (Cohen)

I just want to know what it is that these people are contributing to the world that has not yet been given.

Do we need more "distinctions" of "higher self" "spirit" "atman", etc. if most people have no idea what that is (maybe including the authors themselves?).

I haven't read a lot of the bible, but something I do know is about false prophets. And everywhere I look, I see people offering to heal, fix, lead, and teach. Each invents their own system...

What's the deal people? How do you know you're not confused beyond your wits?!

I dont know if this book has been translated into English, I wish and pray that it will be soon. I actually considered doing so myself because it is phenomenal.

It hit Russia in 1999, my father got it by accident from a co-worker. We're Russian. Within a year, my father, my mother have been healing themselves and our family using this method.

What it is:  A system created by L. G. Puchlo, using a radio-esthesiological method, discovered in the States in the 70's (i believe) and contributed to by Edgar Casey and others. L.G. Puchko, a scientist who could not, for a decade or so, get rid of her migranes. She tried everything, and nothing worked. 

read the link below to get an idea of what some people have done with it. I have been unable to find much english literature about it.

This article explains what can be done with it.  

<a href=http://www.prugalov.sp.ru/lcher_en.htm>Leonid Chernyi Cures Cancer</a>

The book I refer to is: L. G. Puchko.  Multi-dimensional Medical Science.  A system for human self-diagnostics and self-healing.

If you want more info, send me a message.

Love to all!

Katya 

 

Honesty, honesty, honesty!

I have to be honest right now and admit to something obsurd. Its so absurd I have been hiding from it for some time.

Ok here goes: The amount of amazing people on this network is amazing...and sometimes overwhelming.

Ok I said it. I SAID it, and now I should clarify what I mean.

You are all so incredible, doing, sharing, and creating so many amazing things that it is not only difficult to keep up with it all but it is sometimes so humbling that I have no choice but to be humbled and shut up.

That means no posts, no blogs, no new friends, no new projects, just stasis.

Strange as it may seem to some, it has been so overwhelming at times to be present to you all because, well, there are so many of you, and so much happening....

I just got my Ambassador package - let me just say that I am completely amazed, in love, and touched.

Books, magazines, its incredible. I am so moved by the love of the people who have created this site that sometimes I want to cry...for the world, for what we stand for, for what we can all do TOGETHER.

It gets so lonely sometimes, being humbled with all you incredible people out there, that I just have to snap out of it and say "I WANT TO PLAY TOO!"

So I want to play too.

What can we play?

Love to you all, Zaadsters - you are examples to all those out there.

Katya 

So I have been thinking about this a bit.
Why was Neo so disturbed as soon as he had gotten the "answers"? Well because he probably felt there was little else to learn...thus sacrificing himself in the end.

My yoga teacher said to me once that we lose interest in life when we feel that there is nothing to learn any longer.How is that possible you ask? The world is full of wonder! Thats what he said - focus on the little things.

Yes, but how can we spring from that place when it really does seem that there is nothing new? Rather, that there is so much that we can never grasp it all.
For me, I start to go into myself - but that self is not alway productive. Its also often negative and self defeating.
Loops, loops.