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America's knees hurt, but it's all good

Posted on Feb 13th, 2009 by Katya : The waker Katya
You know that aching knee pain when you're 14? Clothes stop fitting, everything hurts, you don't understand why you feel the way you feel.  Ahh the memories.  I was always tall for my age, so I remember this difficult process well.  Being the tallest girl in class also didn't help.  But that's another blog post.  As I sit here on the couch, a lot of things come to mind: Darwin's theory of evolution has been accepted by the Vatican as NOT anti-creationist; the Discovery channel special on the Science of Love where they break our concept of love into scientific bits, the TV special on California's tectonic plates, oh and of course the economic mess.  

It seems to me that evolution is everywhere; it's only getting faster and harder to keep up with, and to top it off, we're the test case.

Its pretty easy to see that the world is changing rapidly.  I was born in the U.S.S.R. - a country that no longer exists.  And back in Soviet Russia, we wore school uniforms, learned about Lenin, and were told God didn't exist.  Next thing I know we're in NYC, living in a Dominican/Hasidic community, and boy did we have to evolve. And boy did it hurt!  It hurt all over!  The language, the customs, the new races we've never seen before, the food.  Oh the food!  Let's not start.  We had to adapt to the new environment, old habits died, new ones were formed. Man stood up.  

And now America is going through the same thing, again. 

History brilliantly shows us that we are run by the necessity to expand or contract. Science teaches us that nothing really stands still. There is always a process happening in the background even though we may not see it. But what is that process? Is it certainly the weeding out of irrelevant, unnecessary objects? I think so. Except it's not only objects. It's also thinking. Human traits have evolved - the mating ritual has changed to fit the modernity of the woman, so why not thinking? Everyone going green, doing yoga, eating organic, and being nicer - it's all the the same thing. We simply need these new traits to survive, because what we were doing before is no longer working.

America brought something fundamentally different to the world - something mostly unseen. It was born in England in some ways, but really evolved in the States. This concept of freedom. It's totally radical! It was not seen in other places. People in New York walk around in their pajamas as students; they wear jeans in all ages, and you will often not know someone's worth based on their tennis shoes. Europe didn't have this. The Soviet Union certainly didn't have this. This country is unique and beautiful, and it's given something to the world. With all the B.S., it's given it hope, hope to so many people that something as radical as freedom can exist. It's imperfect, as all human systems are. After all, we are imperfect ourselves. But it's shifting and evolving as is everything in the world.

The Vatican approved the theory of evolution. What the hell?! I mean this was NOT a possibility some years ago. This is a huge thing for the planet. There are lots of Catholics! A black president in the US? That's a huge thing as well! It's like thinking is being bent on a global scale. We are all evolving. We are growing or dying, but we are never standing still.

And I know that people say that we are all in on this together. But really, it's true. We, all of us, are the face of the world. Those of us who live in the US are the face of the US, and we are all partially responsible for everything that happens globally as a result. Surely it doesn't mean we blame ourselves for political blunders like Iraq (ahem), but we are all partially responsible, as we are part of the living and breathing organism that America is. 

And now it's evolving again. Into something else. Because what it was was no longer working. And enough people understood that and realized that survival was more important than being prejudiced against a black guy. 

Survival always was smarter than logic, always has been.  Survival is a lot more powerful, and we have relied on it silently since we were born as a species, however that may have happened.

And seriously people, look at the world and what it's become! This is not the world of 10 years ago. Countries are getting up out of the dirt that they've been in for generations. People are getting educated. Women have a new voice. Races are mixing and blending. Evolution is everywhere!

And we should not resist it but instead learn to flow. Flow with it and understand that we are so very very impermanent. But a leaf in the wind. And we have no idea what the planet's agenda is.

I myself have found myself being afraid in moments. Asking myself "what's next?" "Are we all going to be ok?" And somehow I think we are. Because no matter what happens, it's all part of our growth and development as a species. My knowledge is a collection of all the people before me, and I thank all those who died eating crazy poisoned food, crossing oceans, catching new diseases.  So I realized at some point that if my head falls off because I use the cell too much, the world will have gained something.  Maybe someone will remodel the way we use these devices, and I may return as a butterfly in a field in Montana. Which may actually be really very nice.  And if not, then so be it.
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How do you know when you're on the right path?

Posted on Feb 15th, 2009 by Katya : The waker Katya
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 15, 2009:

When you feel good.
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Tagged with: QaR, flow, path, calling, life

Having Trouble Understanding the Economy?

Posted on Feb 20th, 2009 by Katya : The waker Katya
Watch this:  Credit Crisis Visualized

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Follow your what?

Posted on Feb 21st, 2009 by Katya : The waker Katya

From my Blogspot blog: http://myturbulent20s.blogspot.com

2 months ago I decided I wanted passive income streams, a term I had just recently learned about. I decided to go full throttle. So I hired a coach developed a business plan of sorts, started writing my policies, made freelance contacts, and had a small army of designers / developers ready for the go... and then I brushed up against a nightmarish scenario of a client, or three, and realized that even on the best of days I didn't want to do what I thought I wanted to do.

This was not at all a passive stream. This was a really really involved sulfuric acid drip! 

Sskirratch that.

So I had another business idea, a good idea, a wellness product I love and use and feel passionately about. The idea was to take it slow, start easy, get others on board, and do nothing.  Again, a faulty business model because the truth was that I needed to get involved with costs, shipping, blah blah blah.  And hey! No one said I would need to actually do any WORK to get these off the ground!  Come on!

Meanwhile I also started a part time graduate program at Columbia and began to learn that grad school, even the one class I was taking, is a bitch of a work load!  The readings are a lot, and even though I have been enjoying the lot tremendously, are a huge time sink.

And there was more:

- relationship growth aka emotional trepidation and difficulty
- work restructuring
- weekly improv troop work
- a fast

I began spiraling out of control, and felt emotionally drained let alone physically exhausted.

So I decided to stop.

I pulled the chord, stopped the factory line and observed that it was going all too fast to begin with.  The soda pop was spilling all over the conveyer belt; the bottles weren't being filled, and I was running about mopping up the mess instead of sipping pina coladas on the beach.  The structures were still weak, and most importantly I realized I had no desire to be in the soda pop business in the first place!

I deaded the conversations that were exhausting me, caused a business partnership to sink, began going to sleep at 10pm (except tonight), recreated the relationship that was not working, took on a new realm at work, and thought about writing music again. 

But speaking to my coach today I said "maybe we shouldn't work together anymore. I hired you to help me with my businesses."

And she said "sounds a bit like you think you failed."

And that was it really.  I did think I failed.  

I told her how I thought I had failed before I even flew.  But the truth was that I have been playing my butt off, and I actually think that realizing that the proverbial soda pop business wasn't for me was almost as if not more important than finding the one that is.  I mean imagine being trapped doing something you hate!  Nah.  No more.  

And I was running so fast my head spun.  After all, it's not about how fast you run, but about what you get in the process.  And I kept forgetting that.

I thought for a while I wanted to be on the big screen and at some point decided that I didn't want to go from audition to audition like my artist friends because it looked horrible.  But I do want to be an artist on a great show.   

I mean I wrote it on my Webby for cryin' out loud.  It reads "winner of the Golden Globe."  

I didn't even know what they award the Golden Globe for, but I was sure I was going to get it.  Enough to have it engraved on my Web award.  Only a nut job like me does that!

But why not?

Follow your heart?  Yeah.  That's the one.  Cus if I get straight and ask myself the intentions of my businesses?  To not have to work.  But it's not about not working.  It's all about doing what you love. 

And I know I am no first time pundit saying this to you, and you'll have to go through your own soda pop factories to realize the stuff that isn't for you.

But in the end, we all hopefully end up in the same place - peaceful and content as a pig in you know what.
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Tagged with: business, passive income, coach